I was dating a guy around my age about a year or so ago and my first clue that it wouldn't work out should have been his propensity for texting. That someone who is supposed to be mature finds texting preferable to talking was definitely unsettling. We were in a long distance relationship, but none the less talking on the phone would seem like the next best thing. Come to think of it, talking with him on the phone wasn't that much fun; mainly because his communication skills on an intimate level were, well lacking. He certianly wasn't lacking for intelligence. I knew he was actually very intelligent. We eventually broke up mainly because he couldn't be emotionally available; not even on a friend level.
Texting for someone who has serioius intimacy issues must be like a gift from the gods. And who is more prone to intimacy retardation than men? Not to say women don't text a lot as well. but I think women are more likely to include it in their communication rather than make it their primary source. Guys on the other hand love to make it a regular practice. It's great for guys. The don't have to worry about the tone or nuance of their communication without a voice to convey it. Also conversation can be crypitc, with short bursts, rather than something that has real continuity like a live conversation.
Now men can't even commit to conversing. Ahh progress. We have come such a long way; backwards. Not only do a lot of men have intimacy issues, now they can avoid any practice whatsoever at improving them. They can retreat even futher into a numb existance. Combined with all the other marvels of faux or non communication, like IPods, internet on their phones ect, a guy could walk around all day, even in public, and never have to have an actual, non-virtual communication. And they do that. I see them at the gym, walking down the street, and even in bars, buried in their phones and/or their ears plugged up as if they are too busy and preoccupied to connect to their surroundings. Now if a guy is at a bar or a night club and spends most of his time texting and checking messages what the hell ever did he leave home for?
I hate to be another kevetcher about how technology is destroying society, but everywhere I go now I am walking by people who are basically not there. And I'm not there, or rather I'm the only one who knows I'm there. Its like if a human screams in the street and everyone has IPods jammed in their ears, did the human actually make a sound? Or if your IPod is jammed in your ears while your texting, and a tree falls on your ass and breaks it, did it really happen? Just because you chose not to be present is the world any less real?
I have noticed in the last year more and more guys I "talk" to or date love to text. For me it's a red flag. Texting is fine for short necessary communications, or some fun flirting to break up the day. But texting and emailing are not a relationship. Nothing can replace the fine nuances of the human voice and all the range of feelings it can convey. And God knows today we need more that ever to practice communicating; before we all wind up in a fetal position with virtual vision glasses and an IPod for a brian.
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